New in 2007

My friend Jenn said that Cancers are supposed to not hold back from complaining this year. She pointed me out as a complainer, but at times I think it's necessary and justified. Perhaps I was sharing it with the wrong people. But hey, I really was getting dicked around by my job.

As coincidence, luck or what not would have it, the complaining gave way to enthusiasm in finding new work, and to that end this year is about to get better.

Why?

Because at January's end, I will be leaving for a week's vacation, and when I return I'll be starting at a new job that is closer to home with hours that will allow me to have not just a social life, but time to get back into my interests, including morning yoga.

Yoga practice essentially went to the wayside as my weekends changed ever week, and I was expected to fill in for the night editor who left, which means I didn't even get home until 5 hours before it was time to get up for yoga.

Thanks everyone in Times Herald management for picking up the littlest bit of slack.

I'm very much looking forward to this new job as my interest and faith in journalism and the newspaper industry has been TOO tested working for the chain where I am currently employed.

It will mean an end to my regular bi-monthly column, but I have a feeling this new job will give me plenty to talk about.

So here is to a great 2007!

To be or not, that’s a question of relativity

My bi-monthly column for The Times Herald, January 20

Or not to be.

You might think that phrase is only half a famous Shakespeare quote, but alas, it is the full quote from the bard whom I like the least, though to be honest, I can’t think of any others at all that I would like or dislike.

And you might have noticed that the missing first half, or “To be,” sometimes go missing in other instances in this column.

It’s not a mistake, but rather vernacular — or so I say — and I suppose it should be explained and then stricken from my written word. A trusted former boss says it probably hurts more than helps identify any writing as mine — especially someone whose first duty, among his myriad job responsibilities, is copy editing.

Plus, he says, it could hurt credibility. I suppose he’s giving me some credibility by saying that. Fair enough.
So it is with high hopes that “needs fixed” will get just that, and “needs to be fixed” will lessen such arbitrary literary debate with photographer John Berry next time a photo gets to me — sort of or not at all, and I request his assistance.

Fellow co-worker Cassie Hepler is squarely in my corner with one, as we’re both from the same two-thirds of the state where “to be” occasionally goes missing without fanfare.

Copy editor Ann Cornell, ever the stickler and the reason behind the Eagles’ defeat last Saturday, wanted the rules spelled out for her benefit.

Whether I can really do that, or should be considered such an authority, is up for debate.
But for the most part, “to be” seems to be unnecessary when it follows “needs.”

As in: “This president needs held down,” as he’s been the pot calling the Kerry, I mean kettle, black.

Digging up memories of 2004, I know, but the flip-flop scenario seems to be better suited to the man now in office, as he’s done it, yet again.

Another possibility: “I’m going skydiving today,” rather than saying “I’m going to be skydiving today,” which unfortunately I’m not doing, but later this year is probably a more correct time frame for my second free fall.

I think the missing “to be” comes from the German roots of Pennsylvania, and so it will be forever in my vocabulary. I’m sorry Ann and John.

And so I suppose that among my usual New Year’s resolutions of “More Vices!” I will cease and desist with occasionally dropping “to be” in my writing.

This decision follows other vernacular terms that sit on my list of words never to be spoken, or at least not in certain contexts.

These include the Western Pennsylvania “pop” in place of “soda,” and the seemingly PC — I hate that — “soda pop.”

Oh, a sound, yes that could be refreshing. What is this, an LSD trip? Not that I know that, but in an excellent — I’ve watched it several times now — documentary mini-series on the History Channel, titled, “Hooked: Illegal Drugs and How They Got That Way,” one speaker says LSD causes the body to confuse senses! So yes, a sound can quench thirst.

Other phrases I had to combat while growing up in Mercer County: “Wedgie” in place of hoagie or sub. What kind of wedgie would you like? None, but thanks for asking, I think.

Also: y’ins (?) I haven’t a clue as to the spelling of it, and looking it up seems to justify its existence.
It’s use: “Y’ins will be in trouble if you don’t get back by curfew!”

It’s a deceptive phrase in Western Pennsylvania, because that part of the state didn’t have anything to do, and anything there was to do required a good deal of travel. I’d say about 1.5 hours in any direction to get to civilization.

I hope this erases any worries that I’m illiterate. I’m just from rural Pennsylvania. And look at what I’ve found to do now in Eastern Pennsylvania: Write columns!

The bright spots of saving for rainy day

My bi-monthly column for The Times Herald, January 6

Coupons are about half the reason I have a newspaper subscription. That and the flyers.

Of course, the rest is the news — local is what mostly interests me — and puzzles.

I spent my teens and 20s — OK, most of my life now, perfecting the art of being thrifty, at least with the must-have items of food, clothing, etc. etc.

Thrifty is why I have as many e-mails as I do — one to collect all the myriad offers and advertisements from bookstores, restaurants, clothing stores, online retailers and the like.
It’s a place to collect those sort of coupons.

My crowning achievement of the last month of 2006 would have to be getting the entire DVD collection, thus far, of “Seinfeld” for between 40 and 70 percent off.

Somehow I think this coupon thing might have been worthy of a “Seinfeld” episode, but sadly I’d be played by George, even though round and bald doesn’t exactly define myself.

You may already have gotten in your mind that I’m just cheap, but I have a certain anti-consumerist sentiment about myself that makes this more of a game where I try to stick it to the man as much as possible.
I think the eye-opening book, “No Logo,” may have played a part in my outlook, too.

This tick of mine is a mixture of character and necessity. It makes day-to-day living more affordable, while also meaning I have some money to take with me on my next vacation, as the getting to the vacation is but a few dollars with those air miles that can add up very quickly.

Puerto Rico, here I come — well, not until March, actually.

I don’t pass on quality when I’m doing my buying, but I’d rather not pay for the advertising and the hype. Go figure, I work in the business section of this paper.

I’m not as extreme as one such anti-consumer group, The Compact, who are gaining an international following with their mantra. It’s something about only buying food and underwear new. Everything else is recycled among them or bought thrift or what not.

It sounds OK, but it’s a bit too far for me.

My thinking is: Why pay $3.29 for that pint of Ben & Jerry’s Dublin Mudslide when I can get it for $1.50 with a little bit of planning. Of note, there were 8 pints of Ben & Jerry’s filling a freezer at home a few weeks ago, which was enough to get through the most harrowing of weeks, one with more unbelievable and unfortunate coincidences than an episode of “Seinfeld.”

And anyway, if most people are paying full price for the product, Ben or Jerry aren’t suffering in the least by my actions. Does that model on the socks and underwear packaging need any more money from me? No, so I’ll get brand names at Daffy’s without all the marketing costs. Does it really matter if my jeans are so last season? Not to me, it doesn’t.

If companies can sell their products for so much less, why the heck fork over the premium price, which might go toward agendas not my own? So I stay away from Rite Aid and Coors and the like.

And so grocery shopping has become quite the game each Sunday for me and a housemate.

The rewards have so far included a free turkey and a free ham at Thanksgiving, a cupboard of tea, which I have no idea how it will ever be depleted, and several gallons of nearly free soy milk.

This also means the house has more than enough food to feed me — four times a day — and I can reserve the fast food restaurants for moments of weakness, like the McDonald’s across from the office, or for cravings of pizza, Burger King or something with mint.

It means holding off to the end of the season for clothes shopping, which is fine because the clothing seasons are now a full month, sometimes two or three, behind the actual temperatures outside.

I guess with fewer vacations planned this year, I have time to start getting a little more ahead for the newly opened rainy day fund. It came with free money to start and more free money for getting others to join.